1. You lovingly craft a hearty sandwich and gleefully squeeze the yellow bottle only to witness mustard piss burst out that instantly turns your glorious creation into a drenched abomination.
2. You approach an escalator that’s frozen. What once enthusiastically carried humans to their heights is now Han Solo in carbonite.
3. You pass a friend in the hallway and say hello. Five minutes later you pass them again and struggle to handle the profound awkwardness.
4. You bite your lip or tongue while attempting to chew a mouthwatering slice of pizza.
5. You step on gum and spend the rest of the day being reminded of this incident.
6. You’re running late for something important when you realize your car is out of gas. You find the nearest station, jump out of the car, and swipe your credit card faster than a ninja. The monitor says, “ERROR – SEE ATTENDANT”.
7. You steal a kiss with a mannequin, hoping to bring it to life. Instead, it remains perpetually motionless.