Sometimes talking it out doesn’t work… and fist fighting is simply uncivilized. Here are seven classy ways to settle any dispute.
1. Pancake Stack Off
Illustration by Netaro
The party able to create the tallest stack of pancakes wins. Flapjacktastic!
2. Staring Contest
They say eyes are the windows to the soul… but blink once and you lose.
3. Lord of the Rings Marathon
All parties sit on a comfortable couch; they must watch all three Lord of the Rings movies continuously without any breaks (exception: 1 bathroom break). Falling asleep results in immediate disqualification. Whoever lasts the longest stands victorious.
4. Thumb War
Illustration by ~Sara-and-Garfunkel
Call me old fashioned, but the thumb never lies.
5. Animal Cracker Eating Contest
This one is self explanatory. He (or she) who eats the most helpless animals wins. A bloated stomach and the uneasy feeling of biting off countless giraffe heads make this competition more challenging than it sounds.
6. Five Dollar Death Match
Here’s how it works:
Each party is blind folded and given an Abraham Lincoln. They are then transported to the local dollar store. The blindfolds are taken off, and contestants are given thirty minutes to purchase five items of their choosing. An independent judge then declares which party made the more glorious purchasing decisions.
7. Turtle Race
Illustration by mistressofcows
Sometimes it is best to let fate decide. Other times, it is best to let reptiles decide. Each party is represented by a racing turtle, and the first to cross the finish line wins.