9 Greatest Mistakes of All Time « Pun Intended
Written by Flying LlamaFish

1. Crocs

Not that long ago in a galaxy very, very close, plastic shoes with large holes became an international sensation. Definitely the Bush administration’s greatest mistake.

2. New Coke

Real Conversation from 1984:

President of Coca Cola: (Smiling) It’s hard to believe this delicious carbonated beverage is the most popular on earth.

President of Coca Cola’s Unstable Cousin: Listen to me, lil’ cuz. This may be due to the fact that I licked a toad earlier, but I just had a vision. If you don’t completely alter the formula of the world’s most beloved drink, humanity will crumble. You just have to trust me on this.

President of Coca Cola: Ummmm… Is this like the time you were sooo sure Charles Barkley was possessing your soul?

President of Coca Cola’s Unstable Cousin: No sir. This is different. Much different.

President of Coca Cola: Well that’s good enough for me.

3. Parachute Pants

Illustration by Lunasumerin

Society has yet to fully recover from the tragic era that was Hammer Time.

4. Michael Jordan walks away from basketball in his prime to try his luck at baseball

It was the equivalent of Abraham Lincoln leaving the white house in 1863 to become a trapeze artist.

5. Green Ketchup

In the year 2000, Heinz released a variety of bright green ketchup in an attempt to appeal to a very specific demographic: booger-eaters aged 3-10

The stunt initially worked, but quickly faltered when the snot loving tykes of the world came to the realization that the green condiment tasted nothing like it looked.

6. The XFL

Shortly after the turn of the century, It was decided that 400-pound men crushing one another wasn’t extreme enough. So, the powers that be drenched the game of football in Mountain Dew and created the XFL; an NFL alternative with less rules and more pain.

Turns out sports fans couldn’t handle the excessive fun. The XFL folded after one season.

7. Billy Ray Cyrus’s Mullety Rampage

Illustration by AmberMurphy

I’m not in the finger pointing business, but a man by the name of Billy Ray set the human race back a good 200 years. First, he popularized the misleading “business in the front, party in the back” hairdo. Then, two decades later, he had the audacity to team up with his demon spawn to create a little show called Hannah Montana.

I’m sorry Mr. Cyrus, but you’ve made our hearts both achy and breaky. We will never forgive you.

8.  Jean Shorts

Illustration by kaymicrager

For reasons beyond comprehension, these denim abominations continue to endure. That said, it never has been, and never will be acceptable to rock a pair of jorts.

9. Slavery

Pale face done did a bad, bad thing.

6 Responses to “9 Greatest Mistakes of All Time”
  1. […] a post titled, 9 Greatest Mistakes of All Time, my brother wrote two sentences about the Crocs shoe craze. Notice how the second sentence is […]

  2. XFL was a huge mistake. If they have minor league football, that’s enough. But why change the rules?

  3. Daisy Duke says:

    Jean Shorts look great on Daisy Duke, #8 fail.

  4. funny – I do despise those crocs yet so many people don’t – definitely a case of comfort winning over looks (fyi, I came here via problogger today)

  5. Twitter Fail says:

    Crocs are popular with people who have chronically smelly feet, because it gives them a way to explain their disorder without it sounding as disgusting as it really is.

  6. .:Heather:. says:

    Can we add Uggs to this list????

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