Photo by babasteve
Ever been on a diet, only to subsequently fall off the proverbial horse? How about an exercise program, that fizzled out too soon.
There are many reasons why we fail at what we attempt; one of the primary ones is we choose to identify with a mistake, or with our past, and this invariably robs us of our potential.
One morning, I woke up — I wasn’t feeling a 100%, and questioned whether I should play basketball today. I concluded it wouldn’t be the right choice. But then I questioned this judgment by asking: “had I been consistently playing for the past three months, in such a scenario would I still allow today to slip by, just because I wasn’t feeling 100%?”
The answer was no. I then decided to act as if I had been playing consistently (doesn’t matter that I haven’t). Now the decision was an easy one: of course I’m going to play today; I’ve been playing for weeks on end, why would I allow today to slip by?
The key is to act as if you have been consistent so that your behavior for today follows suit.
You can apply the above mental gymnastics to any area of your life, and I highly recommend that you do so.
Common Pitfalls and Strategies to Overcome Them
Mistake: You’re on a diet, and slip up badly. You identify with your slip up, and subsequently return to your old eating habits.
Use your mind: Act as if you’ve been successful maintaining your diet for the past ten days. Had you been successful for the past ten days, you would find it important to continue that success today, wouldn’t you?
Mistake: You’re engaged in an exercise program, yet miss two weeks. Your mind identifies with the days you‘ve missed. This identification leads you to conclude you might as well veer off from your goal; after all, you’ve just missed two weeks — why exercise today?
Use your mind: Act as if you’ve been consistent with your exercise program since day one. That‘s why, continuing your program today is so important. After being consistent for the past two weeks, you wouldn’t throw away today – would you?
Mistake: You’ve been doing terribly in school. You identify with your past scholastic short comings, and continue picking up where you’ve left off.
Use your mind: Put your mind in the place it would be had you started improving your grades weeks ago. After so much effort has been placed, you wouldn’t throw it all away today, would you?
Why do we allow our past to dictate our present? If we identify with past mistakes or shortcomings we are bound to repeat them. We become slaves to the past. Let us instead create our own identifications. Let’s be our own masters, shall we?
“When you identify with your past, it owns you. You must own yourself.”
One may interject and say, “but aren’t you merely engaging in self deception?”
No. Of course when using this strategy, we know we slipped up. We aren’t idiots. It’s about acting as if we haven’t messed up. If we act that way, we will behave that way, and our today will be one in which we are proud of.
Why Will Power Often isn’t Enough
Photo by kaibara87
Imagine waking up one Saturday morning, and driving to a martial art school in your area. Your mission is to challenge a senior student to a dual. You contend that you have boundless will power — and that it will be enough to overcome the martial artist who trains relentlessly in his craft.
There you are, toe to toe with the senior student; you both bow in respect and the dance begins… You put your hands up and think about striking and how to strike. In the midst of your thinking, he has already kicked you in the stomach. You fall back onto your arse — completely winded. Is this how you want to do battle?
I sure as hell don’t.
The martial artist didn’t rely on will power alone. The poor fool with no knowledge or practice of the principles of fighting did. The martial artist combined will power with strategy. To conquer, one needs more than will; one needs to train with effective strategy. In time, your martial prowess will be a force to be reckoned with. Your mind can become your greatest ally, or it can be your worst enemy. Exercise it, left to its own accord, it can lead you in a direction far-off from your goal. Rather, allow your mind to catapult you to your dream destination.
I’m proud of you, that you’ve been so consistent in all your commitments. Good for you! Today is a new day, won’t you pick up today where you’ve left off?
Diet? Exercise? Hmmm… I’ve lost over 100 pounds, so I know exactly what that’s like!
I probably lost the weight just from burning up all the calories just trying to crawl back up on the “horse” each time– ha ha!
Anyway, this is great. My mom always, always says things like this. “Mind over matter, Michele, mind over matter…” She says this to me continuously!
We become slaves to the past. This is so true, Bamboo. If we can rise above that place in our minds that camps out in bad memories of the past, we’ll go so far. My grandma used to say, “Life is beautiful up ahead, just a little ways. You just can’t see it yet.” She’d say this in the midst of the bad times. It’s like she could really see the beauty, even though the present was quite ugly at the time. What vision and strength she had!
I do believe the mind is a powerful thing. What people don’t understand about how I’ve lost over 100 pounds, is that it wasn’t easy. Like you said, when I messed up and “cheated” with a food I knew wasn’t a healthy choice, I didn’t let that drag me down into a black pit of no return. I got right back into it and kept going. I started a new day, and made new choices. Trying different things and finding a strategy that worked for me, is why I’ve been successful at losing the weight–and keeping it off.
Great post!
*smiles*
Michele
Heheh, the exercise analogy I found very thought provoking. Act as if you have been consistently for the past 2 weeks. Another doubt that trouble me, is the thought that I won’t be consistent again in the future. I guess this is also as important to overcome as the past, we have to learn to look at the present, not the past, nor worry about the future.
You are wise, brother Forest.
@ Michele: Thank you for sharing your experiences and insight.
@ Robert: Well said Robert. Our mental climate in the present is all that matters.
@ Flying LlamaFish: In some parts I’m known as the traveling scholar.
Thanks for a very interesting post!
It seems to me that when we take up a challenge it’s like a promise to oneself. For example, 10 days ago i decided to do a yoga class each day for one month to see what that would do to my body. So far I have done 4 classes.
Because of the disappointment I feel about not carrying through, it’s difficult to resume yoga practice. It’s rather like saying, “I failed…what’s the point in carrying on, then?’ That’s a very harsh stance. Better to be kind to oneself and encourage oneself to continue.
@ Mary: As you say, “Better to be kind to oneself and encourage oneself to continue.” That is a nice way of looking at it. Well said.
[...] so gratifying at the time and then there is the voice that says, I got the power, and long term success is more important to [...]
Ah, so true Bamboo. I must admit I’m guilty of such actions; instead of looking at my “mistake” as reason to continue, I look at it as reason to forfeit.
“Ugh! I missed 2 days out of my gym routine. Oh well, one more won’t hurt.”
Why!? Instead, I should be angered, and want to add 2 days to my routine, not take one more away!
As much as I try, it seems my mind always wins the tug-of-war. But this post is inspiring, and I think making yourself believe otherwise in order to not “throw it all away” is a great way to improve.
Awesome advice and thank you!
@ Luis: I’m glad you found it of value.
Law of Attraction in the making, eh?
Interesting post.
Best,
Browneyed.
But I haven’t been successful.
@ Doublehelix: Doesn’t matter whether you have or not. Imagine in your mind that you have and then continue from there.