Amazon Jungle Wrap Up (And Some Hate Mail)

First and foremost, I’d like to thank the Brazillian government for sending a chopper out and rescuing me. Had they not, I’d still be in the Amazon.

All of you who’ve written emails and tweeted me with your support, it means the world to me. Thank you so much.

But enough about that… truth is, negativity sells.  And my number one goal has always been and always will be to entertain you. So, I will only share one positive email. The other two will be hate mail.

Jamal Jackson:

Son. You can be my wing man anytime! The way you handled the jungle people was off the chain, kid. That dance you pulled off… golden. Keep up the great work!

Emily Whiteheart:

Ummm, yeah. I scanned your Amazon account, but it was like WAYYY toooo long You and your bother need to get your act together and stop attempting the long, miserable stories. They kinda suck, haha. Just put up some top 7′s OK? Thank you.

Bill Clemens:

Hi, I’m Bill Clemens, a literary professor at U.C. Berkeley. Your stories suck. If I saw you in person I’d slap you upside the head and demand you stick with the humor and inspiration. Stick with what you’re good at. These stories are an absolute atrocity to what good story telling is.

Here’s a quote for you that you should be aware of if you ever even attempt another story:

“Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.”~Anton Chekhov

I love your site, but the stories? They’re the worst.

Thanks,
Bill Clemens

Truth: If you don’t got haters then you don’t got lovers. Word?

To the six of my readers who actually read both Amazon accounts entirely (2641 words), I love you. To the rest of you, I like you a lot.

Amazon Adventure Account Recap:

Why I’m Permanently Retreating to The Forest and You Should Too

Build Up to My Leaving For the Amazon

Bamboo Forest Enters the Amazon Part I

Bamboo Forest Enters the Amazon Part II

PI Lives!