What you see above this sentence is my shirt. It was disgraced - violated by the stain demon.

Just like cavities - stains in your favorite clothes are a fact of life. They come when you least expect it and astonishingly, they never get easier to handle. They are always distressful, always a reason to put a frown on your face.

You know how it starts. The waiter brings you out a salad; you innocently begin to poke your fork into it and bring some leaves to your mouth when suddenly what was just a bowl of lettuce has turned into a broken sprinkler. What follows is the deepest and most provocative groan you ever heard. It sounds pathetic yet beautiful at the same time.

You grab your napkin and contaminate your glass of ice water with it. Then, you begin rubbing the discoloration on your shirt or pants. You’re not done yet though… the fun is just getting started.

You scurry off to the washroom while trying to keep your head up, preventing any impressions that you’ve just lost all of the dignity you previously had.

In the restroom you take one good look at yourself in the mirror before you continue on with your fiasco. What goes through your mind during that look in the mirror is anyones guess - but it’s probably pretty sad. If you’re like me, by the time you’re done with your little stain ritual, you’re walking out of the laboratory looking like you forgot to unzip your pants before you pee’d.

The Tooth Fairy’s evil cousin visits us all. Wherever food can be found, he makes his way there. He’s particularly enthusiastic when sauces and oils are present - when they are - he explodes with celebration.

There’s really only two choices in this life of ours. We can either live in a bubble and be fed intravenously or intermingle with friends and family when dining.

The stain demon will forever be knocking on your door when you consume food. And don’t be so naïve to think that if he’s just made a visit, it’s his last. Nonsense.

You two have another date yet. Not just you, but your favorite garment too.

Photo by jyri

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1. Alarm Clock Going Off

Only one thing stands between you and that vital extra hour of sleep… and it sounds like Satan.


2. Nails Scraping Against a Chalkboard

Evil teachers have been making this horrible sound for eons. This is the most vintage of eye-gouge inducing sounds.


3. Vomiting

There is no sound more horrid than that of a humanoid losing their lunch. And much like yawning, vomiting can be contagious.


4. Dentist’s Drill

Photo by tuppus

No sound evokes more fear than that of the dentist’s drill quickly approaching your pearly whites.


5. Mosquito Buzzing in Your Ear

Fear the wrath of the vampire bug as it taunts your ear lobe.


6. Loud Feeback

Feedback from speakers or a microphone can sound absolutely atrocious.


7. Crying Babies

Photo by brkinhrt2

Babies are cute, but the sound of nine of them crying simultaneously will forever haunt your dreams. Proof.

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We all fall short of our goals, even the greatest among us have fallen short. Yet those who reached greatness all share one principle in common. They tossed out the shovel in favor of the bouncy ball mentality.

Have you ever seen a bouncy ball bounce? When these things hit the ground - they bounce back up with remarkable speed and conviction. If we would just adopt this same course of action in our own lives, the heights we could reach are remarkable.

The goals I speak of are not necessarily of the monetary kind. They can be of the spiritual kind too. No matter what kind you’re pursuing - the bouncy ball mentality is always your best bet. When you hit the ground you can either keep going down - or you can bounce back up, making contacting the ground a distant memory.

Self discipline is a part of our lives. It’s a big part. A really really big part. It’s not a dirty word, either. The greatest athletes, businesspeople, scientists, musicians, martial artists and gurus have all attained profound levels of self discipline. I can assure you of one thing, they didn’t do it by having staring contests with their mistakes. They did it by relentless perseverance towards their goals. They didn’t focus on the mistakes. When mistakes occurred - they bounced right back onto their path. How else do you think they got to where they are today?

The more we bounce back - the more we put ourselves in a position where we don’t have to bounce back. When we bounce back enough times - we eventually reach greater levels of self mastery. But by focusing on our mistakes, we weaken ourselves.

The best way to illustrate this is by sharing a conversation I had with a bouncy ball one Saturday evening.

“So tell me, bouncy ball, how is it that even after you fall, you bounce back with such vigor?”

“I focus on my goals,” says bouncy ball, “even after just hitting the ground; I focus where I want to be and this forces me upward.”

“What would happen,” I asked, “if your focus wasn’t on your goals but instead on just hitting the ground?”

“I would turn into cement, and remain on the floor, with no pleasant bounce back.”

Ever since this conversation with the bouncy ball, I now direct my mind where I want it to go - and I don’t waste my time directing it to other places.

The less time we spend lamenting our mistakes and the more time we spend putting our mind on our goals - the more time we will spend fulfilling our goals. The body follows the mind.

I will follow in the ways of the bouncy ball because my future is too important not to.

Isn’t yours?

Flash by aquamorph

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“Those who seek the truth, seek Wikipedia.” - anonymous

Since the dawn of mankind, we have perpetually sought out the answers to life’s questions.

Who are we? Why are we here? What does the future hold? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

For thousands of years we have searched high and low. We have crossed continents. We have cured diseases. We have even landed on the moon. We have accomplished more than ever thought possible. Yet, the more we achieved as a species, the more we yearned to know.

In the early years, we looked toward philosophers to provide us with the answers we sought. These brilliant minds gave it their all, but could never quite figure it all out.

As time passed and society progressed, we resorted to almanacs, encyclopedias and atlases as our primary sources of information. These books were good, but not good enough.

The World Wide Web was brought to the masses in the 1990s, and along with it a new hope. An almost bottomless pit of information quickly became available at our finger tips. Powerful search engines such as Yahoo, Google, and Ask Jeeves quickly scoured the internet for whatever we asked. We were on the right track, but not even the charming Jeeves had all the answers.

On a winter’s day in 2001, the flood gates finally opened.

I speak of the historic moment we were dared to, “ask not what your World Wide Web can do for you, but what you can do for your World Wide Web.”

I speak of the glorious moment when people all over this great earth threw their Encyclopedia Britannicas in the dustbin of history.

I speak of the historic moment when high school and college textbooks became obsolete.

I speak of the glorious moment when thousands of years of knowledge became consolidated into one ultimate source.

This moment that I speak of is when wikipedia.org went live.

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Illustration by zmanxx

This isn’t talked about much, but P.I. is all about facing the tougher issues of life, head on. We’re not going to sit back and ignore the issues that everyone else won’t discuss.

Have you ever said hello to someone, only shortly after to be in a situation where you have to say hello, again. It happens to all of us.

How do you go about it? Is there a solution to this patently awkward situation? Let’s explore, together, these fundamental questions.

In my studies, I’ve come across 3 ways to deal with the circumstance of having to say hello twice.

The first one is simply dealing with it. Sure you just crossed paths with Roger in the hallway. Oh, look - it’s unavoidable! You’re now crossing paths again, and just 5 minutes later. So what do you do?

You both say hello one more time (with reluctancy plastered on your faces) and pretend there’s nothing awkward at all about it, when there sure as hell is. For crying out loud, you two just said hello 5 minutes ago!

Then there’s the tried and true method of preemptive avoidance. With this one, people go to extraordinary lengths in order to prevent having to say hello a 2nd time.

Read more »

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Illustration by PandaOMG

1. They are impossible to get out of. I hereby propose legislation to replace all handcuffs with finger traps.
2. They are so entertaining, the word boredom will be purged from your vocabulary the second you get your paws on one.
3. The colors are downright mesmerizing. (Prepare to be hypnotized)
4. They are the rock stars of the trap universe. They are far better than both mouse traps and booby traps.
5. They are brought to us by the same nation that blessed the world with Dim Sung and Kung Fu.
6. They can be purchased with the currency of arcade tickets. If you spend a small fortune on tokens to play skee ball for a few hours, you too can have a finger trap of your very own.
7. They are the 8th wonder of the world.

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Photo by kyknoord

Walking around my apartment I noticed garbage, piled up plates, random things on the floor and lots of dust. I then realized I was in a cage at the zoo…

Did I really want this mess everywhere? Of course not, but when you’re in a cage at the zoo - what can you do? I mean, we’re talking metal bars here.

Truth is, there’s always a way out of the cage, and I’m going to tell you how.

Whenever you’re presented with challenge and it could be anything: there’s always two voices going on at one time. There is the voice that says be lazy, or show no restraint because it’s so gratifying at the time and then there is the voice that says, I got the power, and long term success is more important to me.

Whenever we side with what we feel like but don’t actually want - we have just put ourselves in the cage. We have forfeited our freedom. If you’re doing what you feel like at the cost of what you want, you’re not living a life of freedom. You’re living a life of servitude. Is that any way to be? Hell no.

When you find yourself in the cage at the zoo - the metal bars are symbols for all the voices you have listened to. All the times you listened to voices that led you into situations you really didn’t want. Those voices when listened to - hold you captive.

I’ve spent my fair share of time at the zoo, believe me I have. But I’m ready to break out of this hell hole, and besides - the monkeys are beginning to smell. They don’t make the best neighbors to tell you the truth.

Next time you’re tempted to do something you really don’t want to, try this visualization on for size:

Imagine that if you go through with what you really don’t want to (for example, procrastination) you’re now in a cage at the zoo with a bunch of hooting apes as your neighbors. Yet if you stick to your guns, and do what you know is wise, you’re sitting in a field full of lavender flowers. The sun is shining warmly on your skin, and the calm aroma is permeating your being.

The more we do what we actually want, the more we live outside of the cage. The more we listen to what we don’t'want but merely feel like doing at the time, the more we live in a cage filled with monkeys at the zoo.

Where do you want to live?

Illustration by jpeckarts

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