7 Reasons Finger Traps are Glorious
Illustration by PandaOMG
- They are impossible to get out of. I hereby propose legislation to replace all handcuffs with finger traps.
- They are so entertaining, the word boredom will be purged from your vocabulary the second you get your paws on one.
- The colors are downright mesmerizing. (Prepare to be hypnotized)
- They are the rock stars of the trap universe. They are far better than both mouse traps and booby traps.
- They are brought to us by the same nation that blessed the world with Dim Sung and Kung Fu.
- They can be purchased with the currency of arcade tickets. If you spend a small fortune on tokens to play skee ball for a few hours, you too can have a finger trap of your very own.
- They are the 8th wonder of the world.
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August 20th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Flyingllamafish-
Ha Ha- So funny- you nailed the crux of the finger traps!!
August 20th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
No, they are not the eighth. I called it first. They can be the ninth.
August 20th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
Psh. They are totally possible to get out of, if you do it right.
August 20th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
I think they should replace conventional IQ tests with finger traps
August 20th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
I’d love to know how you come up with these wacky post ideas. Thanks for the laugh!
August 20th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
Where have I been? I have NO IDEA what you are talking about. Oh well.
August 20th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
@ Robin: You really haven’t lived if you’re in the dark about finger traps!
August 20th, 2008 at 9:43 pm
@Robin - oh thank you, thank you, thank you. I have no IDEA either!!! However, I do have a question. Can they be used in the bedroom?
August 21st, 2008 at 2:05 am
Number 8 - they’re an easy way to get a date!
August 21st, 2008 at 3:17 am
On behalf of the ‘National Association for Free Fingers’, I protest at your lock ‘em up attitude.
Go pick on the thumbs, why don’t you? They’re always up for a good fight…
August 21st, 2008 at 7:38 am
Just imagine George W. Bush with one of those things…no more vetoes signed, no more pinch marks on Laura’s hiney, no more ill-planned wars, no more juvenile jokes penned on the walls of the stall in Air Force One…
August 21st, 2008 at 12:22 pm
These make me crazy. So of course my brother loved to put them on me when we were kids. I get claustraphobic and practically pass out if my little digits can’t get out….maybe they would work as interrogation tools? NOOOOOO not the finger trap. I’ll tell you anythinggggggg.
August 21st, 2008 at 11:53 pm
Oh now I want one of those again. I had one as a child but I was afraid of it. I thought my fingers were going to be struck together forever.
Cheers,
John
August 22nd, 2008 at 5:27 am
yeah those things are great, also known as the chinese handcuffs
August 22nd, 2008 at 8:47 pm
Patti: Thank you!
Writer Dad: We will have to spend some time at the negotiation table.
Sakura: They are only easy to get out of if you are a modern day Houdini.
Marelisa: I second that motion.
Vered: You are welcome!
Robin: Finger traps represent the progress of humankind.
Urban Panther: Finger traps can be used anywhere!
Luis Gross: Very, very true!
Scott McIntyre: A thumb war would leave the world in chaos!
Tabbie: The power of finger traps is mind blowing.
Janice Cartier: I’d spill any beans to get a finger trap.
John Rocheleau: You should give them another chance!
technokid: They are the greatest!