7 Ways You can Become Rich
Here’s a plan to get you rich. Every time one of the following things happens, find a way to obtain a dime and put it in your lucky dime jar.
1. Running out of toilet paper while you’re on the can. If this happens to you consistently, then you have procrastination problems like I do. Paper towels were invented for this very reason.
2. Getting stains on your clothes. No matter how hard you try, the stains continue to reign. Do you have a favorite polo shirt or dress hanging in your closet? One trip to the Olive Garden and that spotless shirt becomes spotted.
3. Flyers on your car. STOP PUTTING THE DAMN FLYERS ON MY CAR!!! Indeed, if you receive a dime every time someone puts a flyer on your car, that estate will be yours before you know it.
4. Worrying about something that never ends up coming to pass. This one will not only make you a millionaire like all the others; you will soon join the likes of Bill Gates and Warren Buffet.
5. Being placed in the most undesirable region of the restaurant before lamenting that you and your sweet heart don’t want to be sitting next to the kitchen, across from the restroom, tucked back in a dark corner with faint sounds of flushing being heard from time to time. How many times have you visited a restaurant that’s not full, yet the host finds it imperative to skip all the good seats and place you in the worst seat possible? Collect those dimes.
6. Having your favorite TV show, radio show, book, or phone conversation crop up from amongst the ether the very night you planned on going to bed early.
7. After using every esoteric strategy known to man to gauge which grocery line will move the fastest, you find yourself in the absolute slowest one.
A dime for each time one of these situations happens in your life will make you rich. I’ve given you the plan. All you have to do is find a way to get the dimes. That little responsibility I hand over to you. Now go out and make it happen.
Photo by Paul Albertella
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July 25th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
Hi Bamboo - this made me laugh out loud more than once. #1 - paper towels?!
Great list. I may not know how to convert these instances into dimes, but I guess we can take your lead and just laugh it off. The gain in releasing stress is worth more than that dime
.
July 25th, 2008 at 10:35 pm
The grocery line synopsis is so exactly true- I have always tried to guage the line by the amount of people- and or groceries in front of me- and it has never failed that either they have a zillion coupons- or there debit card doesn’t work! Then you watch the line next to you process 5 shoppers in the same amount of time it takes you to get your turn. By then it is raining so hard outside- that you regret ever having to go to the grocery store.
July 25th, 2008 at 10:37 pm
“How many times have you visited a restaurant that’s not full, yet the host finds it imperative to skip all the good seats and place you in the worst seat possible?”
Ha. I am SO GOOD at that. I never let them do that to me. Let me take you to a restaurant just once and you can learn from the MASTER.
Thanks for the laugh!
July 25th, 2008 at 10:42 pm
@ Al: I’m glad you enjoyed it. Now go get those dimes!
@ Patti: Very well said. That is exactly right.
@ Vered: I have no doubt that you are the master at this. However… Trust me… I’m not too bad at it msyelf! I let them know that I like the good seat
And, they always accommodate.
July 26th, 2008 at 12:49 am
- Every time a car alarm goes off in the middle of the night–when you’re fast asleep–and the owner takes a half hour to turn it off.
- When you’re having a great conversation in a restaurant and the waiter interrupts every five minutes; but when you’re ready to leave and need the bill he’s nowhere to be found.
–When you get to the bank two minutes after it closes.
Very funny Bamboo
July 26th, 2008 at 2:37 am
Hi Bamboo,
I love the photo. Do you pass out dimes with those? If so, I’ll take a few thousand.
July 26th, 2008 at 9:53 am
I love the photographic evidence of your offline branding efforts
What with the current US$ to UK£ exchange rate, your 7 ways will make me rich in about half the time!
Sweet…
July 26th, 2008 at 11:52 am
@ Marelisa: Great examples! I especially like the waiter interrupts one.
@ Barbara: At the current time we do not pass out dimes. That being said - do realize that one morning you may wake up, get in your car to go somewhere and notice a flyer in your window that tells you about Pun Intended. Don’t be surprised when this happens. You’d be astonished how far and wide I’m reaching with my promotion efforts (:
@ Scott: Thanks. I do try. Touché! You speak the truth about the exchange rate. You are in a particularly apt situation to make your riches.
July 26th, 2008 at 11:52 am
Yesterday I had to make a quick trip to the grocery store and was running late. Grabbed my stuff in record time and headed for the checkout lanes. Saw an empty one, yes!, and pulled in. But no, it wasn’t empty. Just a little old lady too small to see.
After a moment’s panic I saw that all of her groceries had been scanned. Not so bad. I loaded up the belt and waited for her to finish. And waited. And waited.
People who had shown up after me were now walking out the store with their bags. And here I was, stuck inside some kind of little old lady time warp.
I’m still waiting for my dime.
July 26th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
@ Bill: Sometimes the empty line can be like a mirage in the desert.
We all have our war stories of the check out lane. Thanks for sharing yours. Oh, you can certainly get your dime. Only thing is… It is you who has to figure out how to convert your experience into a dime. I’ve given you the blueprint but you must find a way to do the conversions yourself. Piece of cake I say. Now, get to work.
July 26th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Some funy stuff BF
How about also dropping in a dime every time you hear:
“We are experiencing higher than normal call volumes”
“Please listen carefully because our options menu has changed”
“I’m sorry sir, it’s company policy”
And a personal one for me would be on answering my phone;
“Is that the life coach?”
“Yes it is”
“What is it that you do?’
July 26th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Hey Bamboo-
I really like Tim Brownson’s additions to your list!- very funny- AND so true!
July 26th, 2008 at 11:16 pm
L-O-freakin’-L!
First & foremost, the opening photo is awesome!!! (Can you make one for my blog? Hm?)
Anyway, there’s this company on the block that I live on…it’s an auto shop. Every time I park my car in the street (sometimes I have to), they put a dang flier on my car. Not once have I taken my car to their shop. Why? Because I’m annoyed by their dang fliers. Time after time after time, they do it… I know they know it’s the same car their putting it on!!! I’m not visiting your shop…if you were a little less persistent, maybe…
July 27th, 2008 at 10:24 am
@ Tim: Very funny. And excellent additions.
@ Patti: I agree.
@ Ribeezie: I can totally understand your annoyance at flyers being placed on your car, and not wanting to visit their business as a result.
July 27th, 2008 at 10:51 pm
I am the champion of competitive unsuccessful grocery line hopping! I’m going to be rich in no time flat!
Awesome post, and priceless picture.
July 28th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
@ Sara: Thank you.
July 31st, 2008 at 1:20 pm
[...] Bamboo Forest - for writing highly original, unique posts. I love the way you make me pause and think. I also love the way you make me smile. [...]
August 4th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
[...] give you one example where a commenter shared sentiments funnier than my own >_<. In my post, 7 Ways You can Get Rich, the friendly therapist Tim Brownson added 4 ways to the list (you need to get a dime each time [...]