1. Synchronized Swimming

Is there anything more pure and beautiful than dancing in unison with a few of your closest friends, in a large body of chlorine, while sporting shower caps?

This Olympic event is the perfect fusion of swimming and contemporary dance.


2. Curling

Of all the weird Olympic sports, curling is by far the weirdest. Competitors help guide a 42-pound granite stone towards a target — on a giant sheet of ice — using brooms.

Some of the world’s finest janitors have gone on to successful curling careers.

See it with your own eyes:


3. Racewalking

This Olympic event is exactly what it sounds like. A bunch of competitors speed walk to the finish line. If you break into a jog, you are immediately disqualified.

Racewalking is actively practiced by more people on a regular basis than any other Olympic sport. Let’s just say Young Urban Professionals dominate.


4. Pommel Horse

What happens when you take break dancing out of the streets and into the suburbs?

The Pommel Horse event.


5. Biathlon

Like Oreos and milk and Romeo and Juliet, cross country skiing and rifle shooting simply belong together… or so the Olympic Committee seems to think.

In this event, competitors ski race along a flat, snowy surface with a rifle attached to their backs. They must periodically stop and fire their rifles at targets.

Sounds like funny business to me.


6. Fencing

In the good old days, petty arguments were settled with the sword. Modern day duels however, take place on the Olympic stage and end with award ceremonies instead of death.

If you have a score to settle, pick up fencing. You may even win a medal or two.


7. Bobsledding

What’s a roller coaster enthusiast living in the arctic to do? Take up bobsledding of course.

Eskimos all over the world come together during the Winter Olympics to see whose sled packs the meanest punch.

If you’re interested in bobsledding but don’t fancy the cold, check out the 1993 classic, Cool Runnings, which tells the inspirational story of the 1988 Jamaican bobsled team.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Photo by Image Editor

If your children are reading along with you, I’d advise you gently ask them to go play with their toys. They don’t need to learn what I’m going to tell you, not this way.

What I’m about to convey to you is disturbing to say the least. But it is also true. Nearly forty percent of all bloggers are extra terrestrial; they are not of this world, and their intentions are anything but benevolent.

Before you respond with the knee-jerk reaction that everything I have just spoken is pure rubbish, allow me to shed a few facts.

Read more »

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

1. A Rousing Game of Monopoly

Photo by .A.A.

Playing Monopoly with a few friends or loved ones may seem like a delightful way to spend a Sunday afternoon, but it’s not. After 12 hours of bailing yourself out of jail and paying imaginary taxes, you simply don’t give an armadillo’s hiney if someone lands on your precious Boardwalk hotel.

Rumor has it that only a few brave men and women have ever completed an entire game.


2. Eating a Hot Pocket

Photo by Nestlé

When hunger strikes at 3 a.m., a microwavable Hot Pocket is just what the taste buds ordered. But beware… Nobody has ever consumed a Hot Pocket and not lived to regret it.


3. Pulling an All-Nighter

Photo by striatic

Dedicating an entire night to fighting sleep appears to be a promising endeavor at first glance. Whether you burn the midnight oil to be productive, or simply wish to have an extra eight hours of fun, you will feel like a real-life zombie by the time the sun rears its luminous head and the birds start chirping.


4. Ant Farms

Photo by Shabby Chica

Question: Who wouldn’t want to watch an entire miniature world prosper within the confines of their bedroom?

Answer: You, when you come to the realization that you have an army of nasty insects (which you received in the mail) living in your bedroom.


5. Crowd Surfing

Photo by icanteachyouhowtod it

Seeing your favorite band live can be truly exhilarating. You may get so into the music that you feel inclined to crowd surf. It seems like so much fun and you’re feeling uninhibited, so you go for it. You take a leap of faith into the heads of the crowd. You spend a good thirty seconds being passed along until you are eventually dropped flat on your face.


6. Cheap Chinese Food

Photo by ami23le

When you are starving and come across cheap Chinese food, it can be hard to resist. When you are offered a free sample, there’s no turning back. The sample always explodes with flavor and tastes absolutely delicious. You conclude that getting an entire meal will hit the spot, and you make the plunge. It tastes heavenly for a few bites, but then quickly begins to make you feel queasy. If you manage to eat it all, your poor stomach will need a few solid hours to recover.

Most of us tend to repeat this mistake at least a few times a year, despite “learning our lesson.”


7. Wearing an Elaborate, Uncomfortable Halloween Costume

Photo by qwrrty

Halloween is arguably the most fun holiday of the year, and there is no shame in going all out. But, when you wear that intricate gorilla suit (complete with realistic fur) to your best pal’s Halloween party, you will learn to regret it.

After an hour of blistering heat, limited sight, and unbearable itching, the majority of your costume will be resting on a table next to the refreshments and you will look like a half-primate freak.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Illustration by midgette

Scott McIntyre in the comment section of BWAB said, “Without a passionate community to shape and interact with the content, even the best written post becomes empty debris floating around the blogosphere.” [Emphasis mine]

Blog Articles Can be More Fun than Magazine Articles

Magazine articles are static. They don’t move and they don’t breath. Blog articles, in contrast, have a classroom feel, even a debate club feel. They are living creatures constantly evolving.

Have you ever interacted with the author of a magazine article? Probably not. How about the author of a blog article? The answer is all the freaking time, isn’t it? Exactly…

It’s really cool to comment on an article and know the author reads your words, when they interact with you, even better. Welcome to the world of blogs my friends.

Read more »

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

1. On the sharp thorns of a cactus. Say no to cactus caressing.
2. Inside an opened tube of Super Glue. Fight that temptation.
3. Against the holes of a cheese grater. Freshly shaved skin will not complement the greens in your salad.
4. Inside a vicious dog’s mouth. Everyone loses when you play Find the Man Eating Dog’s Tonsils.
5. Right through a lightsaber. I’m afraid the force will not be on your side.
6. In the interior of an active volcano. Lava leaves a mark.
7. And especially not inside a Venus Flytrap.

Seriously folks, heed my advice. You could harm yourself and look foolish.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

1. You have wild, unkempt hair.
2. Your white lab coat never comes off under any circumstances.
3. You are willing to do absolutely anything in the name of science… ANYTHING.
4. You never sleep. All you do is work on your latest diabolical invention.
5. You are overly dramatic. When in high school, you were kicked out of the drama club on three counts of overacting.
6. You have so many issues, not even the world’s best psychiatrist could help you.
7. Just as you activate your doomsday device, you must react with maniacal laughter. This is key.
8. You are more misunderstood than the most sensitive emo kid.
9. You must be a socially awkward loner that either lives alone or with a creepy sidekick.
10. You are an absolute genius, yet lack common sense.
11. Test tubes are your best friend.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!