As you all know, my dear P.I. readers, an election is soon to be held which will dictate the fate of P.I.

I trust you can appreciate the magnitude of this event. I also trust that you will select the candidate who is best qualified and whose vision will be of the greatest asset to our P.I. Universe.

Please listen thoughtfully to my sound reasons why we should all vote for Hani on Nov. 3rd.

1. He’s a fully enlightened being.

2. Herbert’s method to solve just about every issues that comes to light in the P.I. Universe is always the same: an invention. Sorry Herbert, sometimes we require more for a solution than your silly concoctions. Oh, I don’t know… maybe like a flying whale who can give us the advice and guidance we really need?

3. Do you really want Herbert to become President of the P.I. Council; the man who once spent two weeks floating 15,000 feet above the earth, in nothing more than a lawn chair suspended by helium balloons, going from Honolulu to Miami?

4. Hani is as elegant as he is wise. Herbert, on other hand, sips all his beverages through a silly straw. To have him become President of P.I. is embarrassing.

5. Herbert’s Campaign Promise is “more costume parties.” Hani’s is “a Pun Intended Universe filled with wisdom, justice and integrity.” Need I say more?

6. He’s a flying whale for crying out loud; how could you not vote for him?

7. It’s the wise choice.

I think the choice is a clear one. With so much riding on this election, how could you not vote for Hani?

Brought to you by Day 8 of Halloweelection

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We are just a few short days away from a historic election. On November 3rd (and 4th), the first ever President of the P.I. Council will be chosen.

Three inhabitants of the P.I. Universe have been nominated for the coveted position, and they all represent a vastly different future.

Allow me to introduce the candidates:

When the P.I. polls open at 12:01 AM (EST) on November 3rd, each and everyone of you will be given the opportunity to make history.

I encourage you all to vote. The fate of the P.I. Universe and all that it stands for rests in your hands. And whether you have small hands, large hands, or hairy hands, your voice shall be heard.

Stay tuned for more on this historic election in the coming days…

Brought to you by Day 7 of Halloweelection

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1. Morgan Freeman

If anyone is qualified to occupy the Oval Office, it’s Mr. Freeman. He more than proved his presidential prowess with his role in Deep Impact.

You can bet your brussel sprouts that Conan would be one fun president. Just imagine how entertaining his annual State of the Union Address would be.

Who wouldn’t want a president with the force on their side. The fact that he is green, tiny, and 900 years young is just icing on the cake.

4. Gary Coleman

7. Cap’n Crunch

Illustration by ~CousinWoofer

The guy resembles an abnormally jolly George Washington. As president, the Cap’n would make it happen.

Brought to you by Day 6 of Halloweelection

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Once every decade (or so) a movie comes along that forever influences the movie making process.

Let me provide you with some examples:

• 30s: Gone With The Wind
• 40s: Citizen Kane
• 60s: 2001: A Space Odyssey
• 70s: Star Wars
• 80s: Indiana Jones

Well, the 90s eventually came around and Bill Cosby didn’t waste any time. The quintessential movie of the decade was released in the year 1990. The film I am referring to, of course, is Ghost Dad.

The premise of the movie speaks for itself: Basically, Mr. Cosby’s character dies and comes back as a ghost. Not even death will keep him from taking care of his three children.

So, here is how to fully enjoy Halloween in 5 easy steps:

1. Put Ghost Dad in your DVD or VCR player
2. Munch on some candy corn and guzzle a 64 oz. Mr. Pibb
3. Get comfortable
4. Press play
5. Let the good times roll

Forget Trick-or-Treating. Forget Halloween parties. All of the Halloween you’ll ever need is packed into 83 minutes of cinematic glory.

Did I mention Ghost Dad can walk through walls and float?

Brought to you by Day 5 of Halloweelection

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Illustration by ~elodiejones

What do you know about the White House other than it being white?

Yeah, me neither…

Did you know there’s a staff position called, “Minister of Design”? This little known occupation is in charge of making interior changes.

I must admit, much of my motivation for writing this post is because I know many of McCain and Obama’s people are reading… Though I’d like to believe I was writing this exclusively for your reading pleasure, it would not be entirely accurate. By the time this post goes live, there is significant probability I will be expeditiously made Minister of Design.

My changes would revolutionize the White House.

Changes I plan on instituting:

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7. Two-Person Horse

Always a classic…

6. Human Spork

You too could be 50% spoon. 50% fork. 100% Awesome.

5. Matthew Lesko

Source
This outfit is so money. Isn’t it????????????????

4. Golden Girls

The ideal getup for four young ladies eager to show off their wild sides.

3. Kangaroo with baby kangaroo in pouch

The perfect parent-child costume. Rock it like Kanga and Roo.

2. Benjamin Franklin

Dress up like a true American hero. And, if you’re feeling extra adventurous, round up a few of your favorite Founding Fathers and party like it’s 1776.

My costume of choice this year.

1. The Hamburglar

Absolutely nothing could be better than dressing up like the convict voted most likely to steal hamburgers 30 years in a row.

Seriously, it is simply unbeatable.

Honorable Mentions:

* Cap’n Crunch
* Bill Nye the Science Guy
* Justin Guarini

Brought to you by Day 3 of Halloweelection

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Illustration by ~n4orcer

With the presidential election on the horizon, we hear much about how this leader or that leader will change the state of our Nation and our world.

But what about us…

Where do we fit into this big picture of changing this big world?

I’m here to argue that truly profound change can sweep the globe if we simply begin with ourselves.

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