Few things in life cause as much misery as having the sniffles and no tissue paper around; it’s the pits and then some.
You know the drill… every four seconds you desperately inhale through your nose, frantically obsessed with preventing snot from meandering onto your face like lava flowing down a volcano. But when you do this you look and sound like a jerk. You’re a human being, not an ant eater.
It’s pathetic to say the least.
There is, however, a way out of this self induced misery. And to come perfectly clean — I use it all the time. Some scoff at this strategy to free themselves from the endless snot reservoir; I consider them martyrs. They’re too damn good for this method; they’d rather sit around and frantically inhale through their nose the whole day so that the snot doesn’t exit. But in my book… that’s a colossal waste of energy.
Hey, if you want to go that path, that’s your business. But there is a better way.
The Snot Rocket
Though I can’t fathom people not knowing this term… for those who do not know what a snot rocket is, let’s consult the Urban Dictionary:
When you plug one nostril with your finger, and blow out the other nostril with everything you have, sending a snot projectile out of the nose.
Without tissue, all I could do to clear my nose was to blow a snot rocket.
The snot rocket is older than time itself. Long before tissue ever came into existence, the snot rocket was used by cave men to clear their schnoz of mucus. And yet, its legacy lives on. It lives on through the lives of those who aren’t stubborn and want to be free from the deluge of mucus, regardless of whether tissue is present.
Recently I was on a long walk and my schnoz wouldn’t quit. If I had 1/10th the perseverance my mucus reservoir had that day — I’d have already won the Nobel Prize three times by now. While on this walk I was playing the martyr role. You know, opting to incessantly inhale inward to keep the mucus from spilling out (a losing proposition). Finally, I just about had it and screamed, “NOO MOORE!”
I took my finger and firmly pressed it against one nostril while taking a deep breath… And then… WOOOOOSHHHHH!!!! I blew harder than the big bad wolf and out shot the source of all my misery: snot.
Tell me, friends, having the choice between incessantly breathing inward with the hope of preventing snot from rolling onto your face vs. merely blowing out a snot rocket and being free.
What’s it going to be?