How to Never Need to do Laundry Again « Pun Intended
Written by Bamboo Forest

panda-pun
Illustration by Acrylicdreams

Laundry, I hate it.

I hate it so much that my only dream in this world is producing a humanoid that does all my laundry. I don’t care if he or she was created by cloning, artificial insemination or whoopee.

Matters not.

What’s important is this creature’s only purpose is doing my laundry any time I want, day or night. I get goose bumps just thinking about it.

Some of you may be saying, “Hell yeah.” Others, “You disturb me, Bamboo.”

Depending on what camp you’re in some of you are honest while others of you are hypocrites. I’ll  soon prove my claim.

I’d name the humanoid Laundro if a guy. Laundra, if a gal. And for those pesky human rights activists that I wish I could swat like flys–I’d give it a place to sleep (the yard) and would feed it two meals a day, so get off my back and go thump somewhere else.

I can still hear some of you retorting with “moral” reservations over my dream. I have a compliment and then a question for those of you with the moral reservations:

That’s nice clothing on your back. Where did the labor take place to produce it? Indonesia? Perhaps China?

Go ahead, check the tag… I’ll wait. :*)

You chastise me for wanting to clone a humanoid yet you purchase clothing that children labor on for 16 hours a day with no bathroom breaks; they regularly lose fingers to machinery and make 6 cents an hour.

Does the word hypocrite mean anything to you?

You could’ve sourced your clothes anywhere else but that wouldn’t have been as convenient, right? Don’t worry. You’re not sick. In fact, you’re a lot like me! :)

Don’t even get me started on the working conditions of smart phone factories–it’s wild child!

While I adore my smartphone, a cloned humanoid is what I truly yearn for.

pi-phone

 

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