What you see above this sentence is my shirt. It was disgraced – violated by the stain demon.
Just like cavities – stains in your favorite clothes are a fact of life. They come when you least expect it and astonishingly, they never get easier to handle. They are always distressful, always a reason to put a frown on your face.
You know how it starts. The waiter brings you out a salad; you innocently begin to poke your fork into it and bring some leaves to your mouth when suddenly what was just a bowl of lettuce has turned into a broken sprinkler. What follows is the deepest and most provocative groan you ever heard. It sounds pathetic yet beautiful at the same time.
You grab your napkin and contaminate your glass of ice water with it. Then, you begin rubbing the discoloration on your shirt or pants. You’re not done yet though… the fun is just getting started.
You scurry off to the washroom while trying to keep your head up, preventing any impressions that you’ve just lost all of the dignity you previously had.
In the restroom you take one good look at yourself in the mirror before you continue on with your fiasco. What goes through your mind during that look in the mirror is anyones guess – but it’s probably pretty sad. If you’re like me, by the time you’re done with your little stain ritual, you’re walking out of the laboratory looking like you forgot to unzip your pants before you pee’d.
The Tooth Fairy’s evil cousin visits us all. Wherever food can be found, he makes his way there. He’s particularly enthusiastic when sauces and oils are present – when they are – he explodes with celebration.
There’s really only two choices in this life of ours. We can either live in a bubble and be fed intravenously or intermingle with friends and family when dining.
The stain demon will forever be knocking on your door when you consume food. And don’t be so naïve to think that if he’s just made a visit, it’s his last. Nonsense.
You two have another date yet. Not just you, but your favorite garment too.
Photo by jyri