A message from Octavius:
Greetings, common folk. In less than 24 hours, the Pun Intended presidential election will commence.
Though evil, ignorant forces have sought to silence my candidacy, I take this opportunity to speak directly to all those that frequent the Pun Intended Universe. It is my intention to disseminate the truth. I shall communicate to you, in layman’s terms, why I am the most qualified candidate for this high office.
For starters, I am the most intelligent candidate running. Not to brag, but my Intelligence Quotient easily places me in the 99th percentile.
Secondly, I am incredibly well-read. I have buried myself in well over 900 pieces of classic literature. I subscribe to 19 academic periodicals as well.
Furthermore, I was rewarded a Ph.D. in Knowledge several years ago. My dissertation was so well-received that it quickly became a must read for academics all over the globe.
Now, some dimwits have referred to me as an arrogant elitist, but tell me, who would you rather lead…
a) An ancient, out-of-touch whale that swears he is some kind of bird.
b) A loony, old man who travels the world via balloon and has atrocious taste in Halloween attire.
Or…
c) A cultured Octopus with a Ph.D. in Knowledge that happens to be in the prime of his life.
If you chose c, I want to congratulate you. You have demonstrated at least some capacity for intellectual decision making. If you chose a or b, I encourage you to stop reading and immediately indulge in mindless activity… Democracy holds no place for you.
Now, where was I? Oh, yes… As president I will implement a three-part initiative:
1) I will ban all readers from leaving comments on blog posts. This will ensure the common folk do not have the ability to water down the integrity of each posting.
2) I will enact legislation that will make it mandatory for all those that wish to visit the Pun Intended Universe to have an I.Q. score of at least 120.
3) Lastly, I will do away with any sort of presidential term limit.
In less than 24 hours, you will have an opportunity to choose the first-ever president of the P.I. Council. Will you elect an oaf or will you elect a scholar? Will you cast a vote for ignorance or intellect?
Make the intelligent choice and vote for me, Octavius.
Brought to you by Day 12 of Halloweelection
oh yeah im going to def vote of you… jk
Octavius, you did not have authorization to post this!
You have my vote, Octavius.
Ha! Octavius, I’d vote for Herbet’s floating lawn chair before you. Sad but true, my IQ would not meet your expectations, and so I would not be allowed to read this blog, and that would be a true tragedy indeed. Where would get my kicks and giggles? Answer me that, oh mighty great and knowledgable one.
Is a Ph.D. in Knowledge an aggregate of everything they teach in all the other Ph.D. programs? I want one of those
You have my vote.
technokid – Please do not cast a vote for ignorance.
Flying LlamaFish – In less than 48 hours I will be president of all of P.I. Prepare to take some orders.
Lydia – You are proof that not all is wrong with the world.
Oktober Five – Herbert’s floating lawn chair is no match for my superior intellect. Perhaps you could get your kicks and giggles from a knock-knock joke book.
Marelisa – Indeed it is. I graduated at the top of my class.
Vered – Thank you for having common sense. I may offer you a cabinet position.
[...] « Why You Must Elect Me [...]