Comments on: Winning a Fight Doesn't Make You a Man

By: Bamboo Forest

Bamboo Forest — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 15:46:47 +0000

@ Zenron: Thank you. Yes, the proclivity to get into fights is never good.

By: Zenron

Zenron — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 11:28:47 +0000

Thank you.
My boyfriend, who is at school far away from me, keeps getting into all these stupid fights with other males. It makes me incredibly angry and scared, since i am a very anit-violence person. I have tired to explain to him why fighting is stupid and wrong, and does not prove you are a man, but nothing will change his mind. Reading someone else’s views on the topic which echo mine is a great comfort. Very well writen,
Cheers,
Zen.

By: Dr. J

Dr. J — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 21:06:25 +0000

Very nice post!!

Once I learned that the true battle is with the self, it all got a lot clearer.

I do not like bullies that do not know when to back off, however. I also have an extensive background in the martial arts, and can offer them assistance, respectfully, of course

By: Bamboo Forest

Bamboo Forest — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 15:45:00 +0000

@ Patti: “Thug” is a good word, as I think it is sometimes glorified. And for what?

@ ChasingSanity: Well said.

@ Trey Baird: I would argue, that when you have to be 2 — if you do — you’re doing so through intellectual reasons, so you’re not really being a bigger animal. You’re merely acting like an animal. If that makes sense.

I think that is cowardly when groups attack one.

By: Trey Baird

Trey Baird — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 06:31:11 +0000

I think that the next logical question is how do you deal with certain people.

I’m a fan of Cesar Milan, the dog whisperer, and one of his first rules is to be the pack leader. He’s telling you to play the role of another animal, and to not treat your dog like a human.

Now, I believe that there are people who are more animal than human. Just like a dog, these people don’t understand logic and reason because they’re like animals. These are the people that you speak of, Bamboo.

When you’re dealing with these people, you have two choices. 1. Walk away. And 2. Be a bigger animal than them.

I’ve only been in one real fight before, and I chose to be a bigger animal than them. However, just like an animal, he had his entire herd attack me.

By walking away, or trying to reason with him, I would have gotten nowhere, but because I spoke with him in his “language”, he had a much higher respect for me afterward.

By: ChasingSanity.com

ChasingSanity.com — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 23:56:27 +0000

Those who feel they are “more of a man” because they can defeat another in a fight are stuck in primitive thinking, misled by the society around them that is disillusioned from that which is, and thus perpetuate the disillusionment through their interactions with others.

My thoughts anyway.

By: patti

patti — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 22:17:22 +0000

hi Bamboo-
Great post- as always!!!!
Hope the “thugs’ are paying attention!! The mightiness of the brain far supersedes the mightiness of the brawn!! ” Let the meek inherit the earth”- not the religious connotation -but the very accepted literary version. -
As usual you tapped into something that has some kind of
meaning for most of us. Thanks for your insight.

By: Bamboo Forest

Bamboo Forest — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 21:09:06 +0000

@ Alik: Thank you. “Emotional intelligence” That is a good way to put it. We really have to watch ourselves.

By: Alik Levin | PracticeThis.com

Alik Levin | PracticeThis.com — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 19:48:28 +0000

Great post and fantastic ending with Lao Tzu quote – loved a lot.
I call it emotional intelligence and practice it massively. It works with kids, colleagues, bosses, tough customers, spouse…. – you name it.
John Wooden thinks that emotions are our enemy. I kinda agree with this.
“He who conquers himself is mighty” – bull eye!

By: Bamboo Forest

Bamboo Forest — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 03:39:36 +0000

@ Ruth: You say, “But it doesn’t make you manly or show any moral worth.” This is certain.

I like how you use the three-year-old to demonstrate your point. Well said.

I think one of the main reasons fighting doesn’t prove you a man is because you can be a man and do your duty to fight when the incident demands it — if it does. But if you lose, the perpetrator who caused you harm is not the bigger man for it. Far from it. That is why, it is making the right choice at the right time that makes one a man. Making that right choice is often extremely difficult.

I think you’re largely right, that it hasn’t died out among many.