Illustration by *PrincessTigerLili
You’ve been hit by many arrows. Many have taken you down – some haven’t.
The goal, of course, is to keep ourselves from getting struck, and if we do get hit – to remove the arrow as quickly as possible.
We all want to be our best, to make the wisest choices and to live fulfilling lives. Doing so, however, has never been without challenge: hence all the arrows that constantly rain down upon us. Fortunately, there are ways to contend with these arrows, and the more hard work and better strategy we employ, the more effective we will become at living an arrow free life.
Of course, never expect arrows to stop falling towards you. That is foolish. Instead, strengthen your mind and spirit every step along the way. You become better at what you practice.
The same mind that creates these arrows can disarm them. But it will not happen on its own. You must do it. And you must because you can.
Worry Arrow
Introduce me to a man who has never worried and you will have introduced me to someone who has never existed.
Few things can immobilize us like a dose of worry. It can leave us and all of our gifts to blow across a barren desert like sand with no direction. Not a very effective state for imbuing our gifts to the world.
Worry is sometimes flung at us so that whatever it was we were busy trying to accomplish, we stop trying to accomplish. Our subconscious contends by immobilizing us, its assisting us. After all, you can’t do hard work when you’re busy worrying.
In the book, “Your Erroneous Zones” by Dr. Wayne Dyer – he recounts an incident while in Karamursel, Turkey, in which he was busy writing a book. While writing, he began to worry about his seven-year-old daughter back in the United States.
“…all of a sudden my thoughts would be back on little Tracy Lynn. What if she rides her bicycle into the street and doesn’t look? I hope she’s being watched at the swimming pool, because she has a tendency to be careless. Before I knew it, an hour had elapsed, and I had spent it worrying. This was all in vain of course. But, was it? As long as I could use my present moments worrying I didn’t have to struggle with the difficulty of writing. A terrific payoff indeed.“ [Emphasis mine]
The next time you catch yourself worrying – ask yourself what hard work is before you. Then say out loud, “I’d rather be doing the hard work necessary to accomplish my goals than to worry”
Your worry may not like it, but you will be empowered to carry on with your objectives.
Dwell on The Past Arrow
Do you want to be your best right now? Maybe you just want to be 72%? Perhaps 68% will be good enough?
I don’t know about you, but I want to be 100% – right now. You better believe it my friends.
You are energy. Your mind, body and spirit makes up your reality. In some ways your inner resources are finite. When you dwell on the past, part of what makes you, you, is being channeled to the dwell monster. You’re fattening him up while you could be strengthening yourself. But you don’t have to go it this way…
The moment you decide to cease dwelling on the past, you can channel all your energies into living life now and being your best. Your opportunities are under your feet. To seize them like you can, stop dwelling on the past, and extend your energy to the opportunities that exist. Because they exist, you must honor them.
Dwelling on the past is the antithesis to living. Choose life.
Worrying What Others Think Arrow
Similar to the worry arrow, I’ve never met a man who hasn’t experienced this before.
At the center of worrying what others think of us is making what they think more important than what we think of ourselves (Dyer pg.62). This, of course, is insane.
One of the greatest spiritual achievements that can be had in this life is freeing oneself from the opinion of others. What others think of us should never tarnish our sense of well being and confidence. And it doesn’t have to, unless we choose it to.
I’ve been in situations where I’ve felt very self conscious of what others may be thinking about me; even though they probably aren’t thinking what I think they may be – but let’s say they were. Would it matter? Why should their opinion be more important than my opinion of myself?
You are your worst enemy and your subconscious will hurl arrows at you from now until the end.
Though, you can conquer yourself. If there was a wild horse that you needed to use, you would have a hard time getting where you needed to go. If, however, you worked day and night taming it – it would be capable of taking you to wonderful places.
There’s an old Chinese proverb, “If you don’t change the direction you are headed, you will end up where you are going.” The same is true with your self-talk. Keep telling yourself the same stuff and you’ll keep feeding off it. Change what you say, and you will live a wiser more powerful life.
There are ways to deal with the arrows that will always be hurling towards you. It takes hard work. It takes skill. You get better at it with time. But you must act.
And act you will.
Hmmmm….good stuff!
I tell my friend G that he must replace his old thought patterns with new ones in order to feel better and change his life. Alas, he never believes me. Perhaps I will show him this post. I have learned over the years that changing my thought patterns is a very effective tactic to improve my life. However I have also learned it is very easy to fall back into old self-destructive ways of thinking. One must remain ever-vigilant in order to avoid these thinking traps so common to mankind. Again I say: good stuff here!
@ Tabbie: That’s exactly right. We must replace our negative thoughts with life enhancing thoughts.
It is definitely very easy to fall back into self destructive patterns. This is because the obstacles within do not cease. They are ever present in their efforts. That is why, we too, must be ever present in our efforts. But with enough effort and good strategy, we can make a steady climb.
Thank you for the good words.
Arrows, eh? I haven’t worked with them for quite some time. Looks like another invention is on its way.
Hi
Like your points.
I always try to remember that worrying usually ends up creating problems.
Juliet
I dodge those arrows fairly well. It’s the taking too much on at one time arrow that nails me right between the eyes.
One of my biggest challenges is to stop worrying about what others think about me. I’m slowly getting better – blogging actually helps a lot – but I’m not quite there, yet.
@ Juliet: Thanks. It is surely a problem producer.
@ Writer Dad: That arrow is as real as any other. Taking on too much can lead to not completing important goals.
@ Vered: It’s very tough to overcome that one. And, when improvement is made, it doesn’t necessarily mean one’s mastered it. Interesting that you have found blogging to benefit you in this way. That’s great.
Wonderful wake-up call on how not to spend your time! Someone once told me- and for the first time I understood it- Don’t worry ahead of time- wait and see if there is actually anything to worry about! Nine times out of ten, the worry will prove to be ill grounded. Our own self- absorption is also a trigger for worry and- in reality- other people really don’t care nearly as much about our actions as we think they do. We shouldn’t flatter ourselves as to our importance to others, but as you say- water under the bridge is exactly that- just move on- and don’t look back! Love your insight and the simplicity in which you convey it.
Hi Bamboo – I love this post and love the analogy with the arrows.
What you’ve written is right on target (no pun intended)
One thing I’ve found works wonderfully when I start to worry is to stop and make a list of all I’m grateful for. It forces me to live in the moment and the worry begins to fade away.
@ Patti: True, that most of what we worry about never gets fulfilled. Thank you for the good words.
@ Barbara Swafford: Thank you. Your technique sounds solid. Thanks for sharing, I’ll keep it in mind.
Hi Bamboo. “You are your worst enemy and your subconscious will hurl arrows at you from now until the end.” Ain’t it the truth! Thank you for this post. I’ve been collecting too many of these arrows lately. Was speaking with a friend today and he was commenting on my disappointment that I’ve been making effort and not seeing results. He says that I’ve been planting seeds, but forgetting to feed them with sunshine. I thought that was a terrific metaphor.
Hi Bamboo – great analogy with how these issues are like arrows constantly falling on us. We can see the trajectory and all it takes is simple pro-active measures to not let them hit us.
“I’d rather be doing the hard work necessary to accomplish my goals than to worry.” Amen my brother, amen!
@ Davina: That’s a cool metaphor. It’s true – we must cater to our seeds with great effort, then they will blossom. Thanks for sharing that.
@ Al: Glad you found value in it. It’s very important to act instead of worry.
Hi Bamboo: I think it also helps to identify the people around you who are constantly hurling arrows your way. Then you can either stay away from them or at least get ready to dodge arrows when you see them approaching.
@ Marelisa: An interesting way to apply the arrows: to people. It’s a valid point. And, if there are destructive people out there, it would be best to avoid them. And as you say, if you can’t avoid them, to use the mind to deal with them.